Thursday, August 31, 2006

Pride Or Conceit?

This morning as I was getting ready for work I looked in the mirror and said to MYSELF...
"Damn, girl you look hot today"...then this lil voice (Evil Eva) said to me "Don't be conceited"...
It took some of the wind out of my sail...then I thought why listen to that voice..I like feeling like I look good...it seems all my life just when I am starting to feel good about how I look someone has told me not to be conceited...I remember as a kid my Mom telling me that anytime I would say I was "cute too". In truth she probably only said it once or twice to me but for some reason it seems like more and it made me very insecure about the way I look...making me wonder if what I see in the mirror is really what everyone else sees...as an adult I've had to contend with Evil Eva (my own insecurities) telling me that no one likes a conceited person... But I ask you this IS it really conceit or it is Pride in how I look ....and is it really sooo bad?

So any way when I got to work this morning I looked up the words Conceit & Pride in the Webster Dictionary and it said:
Conceit - 1. an overdeveloped opinion of ones abilities, personality or worth.
Pride - 1. A sense of one's own proper value or dignity..
sooo where does that leave me?

And talk about coincidence....When I checked my emails this morning there was a newsletter from eDiets and lo & behold there was an article on this very subject...(funny how things work like that)
"10 Things to Help develop a Sense of Pride"..it talked about the differences between Pride & Conceit...not a bad article..

Of the 10 things listed Six of the them I pretty much do or at least try to do each day.. I've changed the order of them to what is most important to me...

1. "Beware of your Inner Voice...If all you hear is negativity, then all you'll get is negativity."
I'm a firm believer in the more you tell yourself you can do something, the more you'll be able to do it...so maybe if I keep telling myself that I look good (and not listen to Evil Eva), I will start to believe it truly...Fake it til you make it is my motto.

2. Do Something everyday for yourself because you are worth it...besides the obvious of going to the gym...I like to do any of the following...take a walk, read a book, paint my nails, call a friend, buy a candle or flowers for myself.

3. "Gather evidence of Successes. Instead of looking at things you haven't been able to accomplish on your to do list- look at the ones you have been able to do- Keep mementos of accomplishments where you can see them."
Ok Done that...my awards & trophies on my 5K's & 10K's that I have placed in is on the wall and on the top of the stand in my entryway at home...I also have my postcard picture of me at the finish line on the P'tree Road Race on my wall here at work...this encourages me to know that I can do what I used to think was impossible...And yes I am very PROUD of them and MYSELF for what I have accomplished this past year...

4. " Surround yourself with enthusiam. Make it a point to be around people who pump up your self esteem and try to stay away form those who bring you down"...
This one is easy for me...When I go to the gym I am surrounded by people who encourage me daily...and my family..#1 Niece, #2 Niece & The Kid are very encouraging... Even Bubba told me last night that I look Skinnier....is he not the greatest Grandson alive....

5. "Keep your compliments. Don't break off or negate compliments sent your way. Say thank you and accept the praise." This one is hard for me but I'm learning. Usually when some one compliments me that lil voice (Evil Eva) will tell me not to get a big head or be conceited sounding so I will say something like "I still have a lot of weight to lose" when someone says that I'm looking good...or "I've had this thing forever" when someone compliments me on what I'm wearing...But I read an article not to long ago that says when you do this you are telling the person that complimented you what they say doesn't count and that discourages them on complimenting... and since I am a great one for complimenting people on things that I really like and I mean it when I compliment someone what makes me think that someone complimenting me doesn't have the same feelings.... so now I make an effort to smile and thank that person...and if they are complimenting me on something I wear..I will usually say .."Oh yeah, this is one of my favorite things too"...it's not that hard to do IF I don't listen to "Evil Eva" (back to #1 on the list)

And last but not least
6. "Respect your Mistakes. Instead of dwelling on your past faults- learn from them and use them to your advantage by trying a different approach the next time."
Still working on this one...

What this all really has to do with whether I'm conceited or just proud I'm not sure but I thought it was worth writing here...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I remember a plaque you used to have in your office that said something about how proud you were to be a bitch. I can't remember what it said exactly, but the gist of it was that you were a bitch and proud of it. My question now is, why is it okay to be positive about the negative things - not that being a bitch is necessarily a negative:), but we feel some need to back off of positive statements because of how others may perceive us? I think a little narcissism is good for the soul and you have worked very hard to look as hot as you do. So I say embrace your inner hottie and let her now you are as proud of her as you are your inner bitch.

Lady Sue said...

I remember that plaque...I just don't remember the exact words..I wonder where it went... The Kid gave it to me when she was a teenager ...maybe she remembers the exact words...
I'll be looking for that thing all weekend when I clean...thanks for reminding me of it...LOL...
Me embrassing my inner hottie....I like that...

Suzann said...

the greatest gift we can give ourselves and those who love us is to value ourselves - we would never treat those we love as we sometimes treat ourselves. Having love and respect for ourselves is a sign of self respect and maturity - you go Sue. Love and hugs ------