Friday, April 02, 2010

Starting a new Blog!

The last year hasn't been the best for me but Spring is here and I'm ready to start my life over again.
I've started a new blog "Finding Lady Sue" and it will be mostly a weight loss blog ..but truthfully knowing me I'll probably end up just blogging everything...but for now...
I'm keeping this Blog because it's good for me to back and read over those years I was blogging and see where I was and how I handled things..besides it's fun!
I've been knocked down and gotten up so many times before why stop now...It's Forward I go into my Sixties...whooohooo!  No more Sexy Sue..but we now have Lady Sue (if I can find her) and Sassy Sue!
See Ya All Around!

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

All is Good!

I've been given another chance at keeping my job...I went in this morning and read my statement to the Transportation Supervisor, who then took my file (with my statement) to the head of Transportation and actually went to bat for me...And it was decided that I can keep my job....How nice is that...
I will have to do some time (on my own) at the driving range to improve my driving, but I don't have a problem with that..It can only help..
I'm happy!!!

Monday, March 02, 2009

I just want to get it over with!

A snowstorm hit Atlanta yesterday..altho it was pretty and I enjoyed a day of doing nothing but playing on the computer and reading in front of the fire, I am ready to get this meeting over...
School was cancelled for the day and when I called my Supervisor she told me that our meeting with the Transportation Manger was also will have to be rescheduled..

To some this would seem a good thing but for me it just makes it harder...I'm so ready to get this over..just to find out if I still have a job or if I'm at the bottom of that black hole that is always waiting for me...I keep thinking How will I pull myself out this time? I've been there so many times in my life, and each time it gets harder & harder to pull myself out.
I feel the blackness coming over me today but will fight to stay in the light by trying to keep myself occupied...Can't really get out because the roads are pure ice this morning but maybe by this afternoon they will be better and I can go see my friend in the hospital...Now her story is even sadder than mine (I need to remind myself that there are people out there that have REAL problems)..she just had a baby and now they have found a spot on her brain..the doctors think it could possibly be an aneurysm or a brain here she is a new mother and she is in the hospital while her newborn is at home with the Grandmother and aunt..How sad is that?..
Life just doesn't seem fair sometimes...

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Bleak Times Again!

The ups and downs of life are no fun...and right now I'm in a down spiral...It looks like I will be unemployed AGAIN..through no fault but my own.

I had another accident with the bus last week..although all minor, this does make 3 "preventable" accidents in the last year..the first was last March when I didn't set the air brake and rolled into the bus ahead of me in the line up at the school..there was no damage to either buses but I still had to report it...then in December I "supposedly" ran into another bus while parking at the shop to get my bus repaired..I say supposedly because although I knew I was close to the other bus (parking is tight at the shop) I did not think I hit it...but the mechanics said I did so it's on my record..there was slight damage to both buses...then this past week while pulling out of the school I hit another bus (parked on the side of the road) with my cross over put a scratch on her bus and bent my mirror (which the mechanic straightened)...All the county allows is 3 accidents in a year and then you can be terminated.
I was given a chance to resign on Friday by my supervisor but chose NOT to. So now I will have a meeting with the Transportation Manager scheduled on Monday.
I've decided that I will read a statement rather than to try to talk off the top of my head, since I usually end up not saying what I want when I try to do that..I'm so much better at writing than I am of talking...

So far this is what I've come up with....
Rather than to resign, I’ve chosen to come here to plead with you to give me another chance at keeping my job.
I don’t want you to think that I take the reason why I’m here lightly, I don’t. I will not make excuses and tell you that it’s all a mistake. The facts are what they are. I have had 3 preventable accidents in the last 12 months, 2 of them in the last 3 month. And although they were minor and occurred without students on board, they still occurred. I can wish they didn’t happen but that doesn’t change the facts.
Since my meeting with Cathy on Friday morning, I’ve done considerable thinking about why I need & want this job.
I will be 59 years old next month and for the first time in my life I feel that I am working at something that I really want to do, enough that I don’t want to just walk away without a fight.
I’ve spent the past weekend looking at what is available to me out there in the job market, and feel that my future is bleak without this job. As we all know there isn’t much out there at this time. At my age and with the economy the way it is, all I can see for me at this time would to be collect unemployment, something I’ve never done. As I have no savings left or any other monies coming in since I’m a widow, I will not be able to live on that and I will lose everything I have. This scares me. I need this job.
But the monies are only a part of the reason why I’m asking for another chance. I not only need this job but I want it.
I don’t look at being a bus manager as just a job but feel that I am doing something worthwhile. I am being entrusted with people’s children to see that they are safely taken to and from school…I do take this trust seriously, as if these students were my own child or grandchildren and would never put them in jeopardy.. For the first time in my life I feel that I am serving a purpose.
I know that I am a good employee…I’m reliable. I show up to work on time every day. I’ve only missed one day of work since I’ve started to work for Gwinnett County Schools.
I try to have a good attitude because I really do enjoy the challenge of the job. I probably get too personally attached to the students on my routes, but I see each of them as individuals and try to treat them with the respect that is due to them.
I’ve taken on other responsibilities such as Community Skills and working with the Evacuation Team not just for the extra hours & monies but because I feel they are an important part of the job. They also serve a purpose.
So I am asking you to take a chance on me and I will give you my promise that I will be the most conscientious & careful driver you have. I will do whatever you deem is necessary for me to do to keep my position.
No matter what your decision is today, I thank you for taking the time today to listen to me.
Wish me luck & If anyone out there has any suggestions I welcome them..

Friday, February 13, 2009

Time slips away

I really don't know where the times goes...I think of a lot of things to blog but then never seem to get here to actually do it...
I did start one about 25 random things about me..but I couldn't think of 25 I saved it for one of those days when I'm witty and funny...

I've actually been busy..not just sitting around and watching TV..Been bowling with some great friends...we played 3 games and I actually bowled 127 on my last game...This is really good for me..When I was in the bowling league, years ago in Colorado, my average was 108...Not telling you what I bowled the first 2 games...let's just say it took me that long to warm up..LOL..

My French lessons are going great...On Sunday when we met at the French Bakery, "J" was there with her French Teacher . i was actually able to greet him and tell him my name in French..."J" was impressed...I've been practicing and I've been listening to my French tapes everyday...also been studying the lessons on French Language..It's really been a big help..As you can see I'm determined to do this...I may never go to France (unless I win the lottery) but I will know a 2nd language...besides it's Fun..I need all the fun I can get...

The part time job has been a challenge the last couple of weeks..I don't know if it was the full moon or not but people the last 2 weeks have really been rude and no one wanted to give donations...lots of hang ups and just plain rudeness... my new week started last night and it was much better..still not many donations but at least the people were nice about it..I guess it all depends on what neighborhood call list I get..Lots of hours for not much pay but it has its' good points too...I get to do it at home and as long as I complete the call list the hours are my own to make...I will keep positive...

I'm feeling so much better..I know as long as I stay away from the sugar and make sure I keep something in my stomach I don't cough much at all..In fact I feel so good that when I got home early yesterday, it was early release for the elementary & middle schools, that I actually did some work in my yard..I cut my Privets way back, in fact almost to the ground..I do this every few years because they get so weedy looking and they are in front of my house ..Cleaned out part of my gutters (the part that I could reach while standing on my rickety old wooden ladder) and even raked part of my yard...

The weeks ahead will be busy for me..I am going on a "group date" for Valentines Day tomorrow and then salsa dancing...My French lessons on Sunday...Then the next weekend is "Lil Bits" birthday...She will turn 6 this year...unreal that the years have gone by so fast..She got a new puppy for her birthday and I really need to get over and see it...Her Mom tells me she really wanted a pig for her birthday but seems happy with the puppy...She's very into Charlotte's Web..her favorite story.. not sure what to get her for her b'day because she has so much already..
I have a "sleep over" at my house to plan for my Thus friends. More on this one later..
Then I have a hike planned with my friend Bruce..who was my favorite trip leader with AOC..he's had some health problems this past year and has also gotten out of shape (like me)...I know there is a Family Dinner at Corey's and a "Boil" at Michelle & Sweets place..
Whew...for an old lady I do pretty good at keeping myself busy....

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Tandem Skydive goes Horribly Wrong!

...That's what the headlines goes on to say that the instructor had a heart attack in mid air and 1st time jumper had to take over.....This happened this past Saturday in Columbia SC..just up the road from me..
Daniel Pharr (a 25 yr old who is stationed here at Ft Gordon GA) got a Christmas present from his girl...a free tandem skydive. The way the news story read all was going fine until after the jump...the instructor was even talking to the guy when all of a sudden it got quiet and Pharr looked at the instructor and knew something was wrong. So from watching TV he knew that he had to pull on the toggles to steer....anyway..he got them landed and tried to do CPR on the instructor but he died..but he landed safely without any injuries to himself.

So why does this catch my eye....Well for years I've wanted to Tandem Skydive...don't ask me why since I'm deathly afraid of's just something I want to do...I can just see me floating in the air with a guy strapped onto my back..hmmm...any ways...At my AOC Christmas party this year I won one of the raffle gifts..yep, you guessed it..1 FREE TANDEM SKYDIVE, which I plan on doing this spring...the group did it last year and loved it..I've been really excited about it..since I'll be going with this same group...
But now the question is....WHAT would I do if something happened to the instructor..(that guy strapped to my back)?...Would I panic? I truthfully don't know...I've talked to other people who have been injured (a broken ankle) while jumping but nothing serious so I haven't really worried about it..but now I will have this story in the back of my mind..which I don't think is good...But I am determined to go ahead and do it...

Saturday, January 31, 2009


Today is Larry's Birthday...he was never much on birthdays, especially his own...I was brought up that birthdays were a special day..a day you got your favorite food (a tradition I've carried on) and a party (if possible)...
I'm not sure how Lar came about his attitude about birthdays..I'm sure his parents celebrated them and maybe being a man it just wasn't that important to him (not like Christmas which was his favorite holiday)..but he did humor me, especially when it came to The Kids birthday...i think he enjoyed watching her grow up and change into the woman she is today...he loved kid's birthday parties (probably because he was a big kid himself) and would sit back and enjoy them...He was known to miss his own birthday party but never would miss being at one of "The Kid's" or #1 Niece's (if we were invited).
I remember Larry's first birthday we were together..I had planned a big Surprize party for him but I was the one that got the surprize since he went for drinks after work with one of his friends (who I hadn't invited because I didn't know him at that time) and got home late after pretty much everyone had gone home...Needless to say he was a little fact needed help getting out of the car..thank god he hadn't drove...Now understand we had only been together for a few months and were still learning about each other...I seem to remember I was pretty upset but I did learn my lesson...NEVER try to Surprize Larry...
The other treasured memory that I remember about that night was that was the first time he proposed to me...I turned him down. (1) I didn't think he would remember in the morning. (2) I wasn't ready to get married again...I wanted to make sure that the relationship would last before taking that step again..We were together 10 years before we finally took that step and over that 10 years we did talk about getting married several times..the time just never seemed right..either he wanted to and I didn't or I wanted to and he didn''s funny now but it never seemed to make a difference in our relationship because we were Best Friends and neither one of us could imagine life without the other...We would talk about what it would be like if something happened to either one of us..especially Larry because of his disability...and we both knew that we Could carry on if something happened.. not that we didn't have some rough times in our relationship but in the end our love for each other always won..
I try to remember all that we did together, all the talks we had, the places we went together and the memories we made together. I miss him so much my heart aches, tears flow and I sometimes think I can't do this without him..There isn't a day that I don't think about him especially days like today (his b'day) but I know that he wouldn't want me to give into the melancholy that I will get through this day too with my chin (or chins as it is) up and I will go out with my friends tonight and have fun. As always when I do anything I'll think to myself how much Larry would have enjoyed this and then enjoy it for the both of us..
Happy B'day Larry...I'll have a glass of wine for you tonight....I'll always love you and miss you more than words can say..


I went to
(which I found in my 1040EZ form I got in the mail) to check out doing my own taxes this year.
I picked Turbo Tax Online. It does all the work for you (all you do is enter the info that they tell you into the system) and Both Federal & State are free because I made less the 30K this past year...I entered all the info which only took me about an half hour...and now I'm undecided to trust it or not..according to Turbo Tax I am getting a refund back from Federal and from the State I get back a whole $2...this is doing an itemized return..When I did my own 1040EZ form it showed that I owed over $900 about scaring a person to death...there's no way I have $900 for ANYTHING right now..I can't owe..I can't owe..So I need to decided soon because if I am going to use the Turbo Tax I need to get it sent ASAP since I am totally Broke..Not in the red but if I pay ALL my bills this month I will be...and my truck insurance is due this month too...damn...

Today was payday and for some reason my check from work was $200 shorter than I expected...All of our overtime for the month comes on the end of the month check...and I was really depending on that money...I won't get any monies from the part time job for another week or so..not that it is gong to be much but something is better than nothing at this point..

I am really bad about letting things slide by..but I NEED to get my shit together and quit closing my eyes to everything...thinking if I don't look at it, maybe it won't be my bills, if I don't open the envelope then I don't owe's all catching up to me NOW and I need to make some hard decisions...Or win the lottery, which doesn't seem to be happening...each day I don't do anything I get into more debt and more trouble...
It doesn't seem right that I work my ass off and still can't seem to get ahead..

I need to make a list of all the things I have around here that I need to sell, like the van, the freezer in the garage which I haven't used in over 4 years..the hospital bed and the hoyer lift, which I will never use...all these things just sit there and gather dust...I need to get them on Craig's list a least and see what I can excuse is that I don't have a digital camera so can't take pictures to post...but at this point I just need to get it done...

Now I'm all awake because I'm freaked out about my finances and I know worrying about it won't make it go away or fix it..Where is my prince charming when I need him..or my fairy godmother...