Get me out of the Damn House!!!!

Amy said something in her blog today that got me to thinking...she said "i think the goal to not eating all night is not being in the damn house." Truer words were never said for me...I never have a problem with eating outside the house but as soon as I get home I start to think about what I can eat...Especially if I'm reading or watching tv (and what else is there to do after dark when you live by yourself)...Now you would think that since I get home so late (usually after 8 pm) from the gym that having only 3 hours before going to bed I could keep from stuffing my face....but NOOOOOO....for some reason all will power leaves me when I am home...I don't know if it's because I associate eating with home.....Weekends are especially bad for me (if I stay home)...I mean it's crazy...but I will spend hours looking and planning on what I can fix to eat...I can make something to eat out of nothing...and that's what I keep in the house now...only healthy foods that I like...but damn if I can't still find something in those cabinets....Like last night for instance...I got home around 8:30 pm and nuked an Amys Roasted Veggie Pocket Sandwich, finished the no fat pretzels (about 1/4 cup)and a glass of green tea...Now this should have satified me...I felt full but then I sat down with my book to read for an hour and decided that I needed something sweet & crunchy so got up and got a rice cake (brown sugar maple flavor)..the damn thing is 50 cal ea and I would have been alright if I had stopped with just one but NO I had to eat 3...for the grand total of 150 cal...which still was within my calorie limit...since I had a salad for lunch...but I could feel something calling me from the kitchen...so I went and stood in front of the cabinet and looked to see what I had that I could fix fast....Well I spied the can of Cocoa and all of a sudden I really wanted something Chocolate...now instead of fixing myself a nice cup of sugar free hot choc..I get the idea to try to make a fudge...so I take a little bit of rice milk (1/4 cup) add 1 heaping tsp of cocoa, 2 tsp of Slenda and whip until smooth in a bowl... cover with plastic wrap and nuke that for 2 mins...add 1 tsp vanilla and whip until smooth...let cool off and add walnuts...this actually makes like a syrup and I all of a sudden got an urge to add my Friday banana to it...I have to tell you it was really good...I know it was low fat and sugar free but I still figure it had more calories than I needed..I mean really the rice cakes did satisfy me but I get these things in my mind and I want to try them...
I know all of the things you are supposed to do to keep from mindless eating..I've read it all and tried it all...1. find something else to do...yeah...like that's going to work at 10 a.m at night..2. Go to bed...then I lay there and think about it and can't go to sleep...wrong again...3. Brush your teeth...done that...but what's to stop me from brushing them again after i eat...4. Call someone...Who? It's freaking 10:30 at night..everyone I know is I either in bed or busy...and I hate talking on the phone..I do that all day at work..
I know it could have been alot worse..but it's not so much WHAT I eat that aggravates me..it's that I can't get CONTROL over this urge to eat when I know I don't need too....and again it's only when I'm at home.....maybe I'll get a camper and move into my truck....LOL...Problem solved!!!!

Check this out!!!

I received this email yesterday ........

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Please join us tomorrow….

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From: Harris, Trish
Sent: Monday, April 24, 2006 10:35 AM
To: 1-EVERYONE
Subject:

BBQ

Staff Appreciation Day

Wednesday, April 26, 2005 Lunch at Noon

Atlanta & Nashville

Lunch will be served at noon in the warehouse (both locations). So please join us for a spread.
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Normally I don't socialize with the people here at work...oh I might say hi to them in the hall and a couple of the guys work out at my gym and I'll talk to them.....but basically I keep to myself...Well, after Moanin' Mona's rant the other day about not having any friends I've decided that I need to get more socialble....so here was a chance to just do it... I knew that there won't be any food that I would want to eat at this BBQ...so I packed a nice big veggie salad this morning and I took it and my water and joined everyone for lunch...
Big Surprize (NOT) No one minded that I wasn't eating the same foods as they were (I got to eat what I enjoyed and not have any guilt about it)...They were truly glad to see me...I've worked here for over 2 years and didn't know that altho I don't know that many people...they all know who I am and what I have accomplished with my weight loss....We talked about all of the things I like to do..ie: racquetball, running 10K & hiking....In fact I got to talking to one of the girls here and we are going to look into going on a hike together one weekend....
How cool is that? I had a good time!!!!

I'm thinking here.....

and I've decided that I REALLY want that tattoo....I bought some of those stick on tattoos for my grandkids awhile back...ok ok so I really bought them for me because they are sooo coool looking and I wanted to see how they would look on me...not the cartoon ones but cool flowers and hearts...anyway there is one that is kind of like the one I want..the lil devil heart...and is the size I think I want too..i'm really unhappy with the tattoo on my hip because it's way bigger than I had originally planned but let the guy talk me into doing it that size and I WON'T make that mistake again when I get my next one...I want to go in with knowing exactly how it's going to look before I get it done...because once it's done you can't change it....anyhoooo I put this stick on tattoo on my leg just above the ankle and it really did look good....didn't stay on for long but that's all right...

sooooo here's what I've decided...I've checked on the price for a real one and it's around $150 and I really don't have that kind of cash to spend right now...but if I start a "kitty" and put in $10 for every pound I lose...by the time I lose 15 pounds I will be at 154 pounds (five pounds from my goal) and have the monies to go out and get the tattoo....this way I have MOTIVATION, something to push me into losing this last 20 pounds....

For some reason I've been yoyoing back and forth between 167-170...and i have to stop this....I thought I could post these lil pictures of the lil devil heart all over to kind of remind me what I really want...Hey at least it's a plan....I really want to see 166...165 on that dang scale and it seems to be advoiding me...well...beleive me I WILL see it and it will be soon....I just know that once I see 165 then the last 5 will come off easy...or am I dreaming/kidding myself...None of these pounds have come off easy for me...It's been DAMN hard all the way....But ya know I've done it so far and there's nothing (but myself) to stop me from getting to Goal... (oh the games we play with ourselves/minds)

I sooo not in the mood today!!!

I'm feeling irritable today for some reason...If I was still having my monthly I would think that is what it is all about but since that hasn't happened for over a year I guess it must me something else going on with me....maybe it's all about the "Change" which I REFUSE to admit to...

I am so Freakin' tired of being cold one minute and HOT the next....what's with that...I'm wearing a lil top with straps and a jacket so it off with the jacket one minute and then back on...it's been a regular game all morning..if I turn the air down then I get too hot and everytime it comes on I get cold...it doesn't help that I sit right under the vent....

AND I'M FREAKIN' STARVING TODAY....I've been sooo good with eating only my meals and nothing in between but for some reason today I can hardly wait the 3 hrs in between..and to top it off I brought my lunch into the office (I usually leave it out in the truck) soooo it's sitting right here next to me ....callling my name, telling me it's alright to eat it now...and i can go to the store and buy SOMETHING ELSE for lunch....NOT GOING TO HAPPEN...

AND I'M FREAKIN' TIRED OF THAT STUPID SCALE AT HOME....yep I weighed myself this morning and haven't lost ANYthing...true I haven't gained either but damn I want to see that number go down....I WANT OUT OF THE 160'S ...is that too much to ask of this body....I mean I treat it better now than I ever have....you would think it would reward me by dropping those ugly pounds...make that scale read what I want it to read....I've been such a Good girl...I deserve it....but NO, it has to be stubborn and hang onto this stupid weight....I'm not asking for a miracle here...after all I work HARD to get myself in shape....Why is my body hanging onto this ugly stuff? Again I can't even blame it on "that time of the month"...damn getting older can be a real Bitch....

I feel like I want to go out and just beat up someone today....Too bad I gave up kickboxing....hmmmm...maybe instead of working out with the weights tonight I will catch my old kickboxing class....Ohhhh something to look forward toooooo.....

Finally it's time to eat my salad and then I'm going to take a walk for the rest of my lunch hour....and try to get a new outlook on life....
Off I goooooooo........

And I DID!!!

A few posts ago Moanin' Mona was here moanin' & groanin' about not having any friends.....Well, yesterday mornin' at the gym I was invited to a party....So I said "Sure, I'll be there". SOOOOO last night I donned my 4" heels, my black capris..put on a lavendar satiny top with a deep scoop neck, which makes me look curvey (I looked GOOD) and went and had A Freakin' BLAST....

Danced until 3 A.M....Those classes in Hip Hop is paying off...I felt good moving my body to the music..reminded me of the good ole days when I used to go dancin' with my lil Sis....met alot of really neat people...and got hugged by alot of good looking men...

Of course I was the oldest person there but did not let that stop me from having fun...I decided early on that "age is all in the mind" and I wasn't going to let that stop me from being myself & having fun....AND I DID

There was alot of picture taking...and I saw a few of me in which I thought I looked like an old lady (which in truth I guess you could say I AM)...hated them but again decided early on that I freakin' didn't care...I wasn't there to win any beauty pagent or compete with any one in the looks department but to have FUN...AND I did...

I had only a few glasses of wine & then mostly drank water (which only proves I can have fun without being totally wasted) since I knew I had to drive home and I want to take a run at the park this morning...I also need to mow my lawn today since ALL of my neighbors did theirs yesterday and mine looks like shit....All in all, I'm feeling pretty good this morning...

My next one

Just signed up for my next 10k...it's the 28th Annual Lake Hartwell Dam Run on 6/7..I didn't get any races in for April because of my hamstring..but I figure I have to bite the bullet and get back into it sometime and this one looks like a good race for me.
While checking on active.com to see what races are coming up..I saw a race I want to do really bad..it's a Duathon in Dahlonega (that's up in the mountains)...this race starts off with running a 5K, then riding a bike for 34K and ending up with a 2 mile race...Now I know I that I'm not up to doing this at this time but I figure if I start training for it now I will be able to do it next year...It's held at the Army Rangers Camp...how coool is that...I've always been facinated by Triathalons but knew it was never going to be something I could do because of the swimming...but hey I think I could do this if I start train for the bike ride now....So all I have to do is get my bike back from #2 nieces friend Craig..or maybe get me a new bike since that one was too tall for me anyway and also I have some freinds at the gym who have been trying to get me into spinning..this might be just what I need to give me the motivation I need...I enjoyed riding bikes about 10 years ago when I lost a bunch of weight but since I developed hemmorrhoids I have been using that for an excuse not to ...when in reality I'm just chicken because I know that my butt is going to hurt when I start riding again....Altho I did enjoy the bike ride that I took at Cades Cove last summer and that was a 12 mile bike ride and didn't suffer too much....so I guess I will add riding bikes on my list of exercises...I will have to get some one to show me how to change gears again...for some reason I've never been good at that..(the bike at Cades Cove was the old type with no gears ...I loved it...but I don't see me riding one of those in a race...LOL).
I'm going to have to get #1 Niece to help me...I'm sure if I smile nice at her maybe she will be more interested in taking the bikes out for a ride than she is on running at the park..I know that is something she likes doing and is good at..riding bikes....

'wHY DID i DO THAT?

Did you ever do something and then beat yourself up for it afterwards?

Well, that's me today...I can't help but think about an incident that happened at the gym last night while I was working out...Now let me tell you that I REALLY hate it when some skinny ass broad comes over to me and tells me that I'm not doing something right...I don't mind if one of the guys comes over to help me with my form or to give me suggestions (not that I listen to them much)...but damn it those skinny broads really bug me...I mean after all I have been working out with weights for over 2 years now...I think I JUST might know what I'm doing and if I don't then I will ask someone (and not one of those skinny ass broads)..hey that felt good to get it out of my system...so knowing how I feel about unsolictated help....I was on the bench doing crunches & abs and next to me was this skinny ass broad who was doing abs also, after she was done, her friend (who was more heavyset than not)got on the bench and was trying to do the same sets (you could tell that she really didn't know what she was doing). The skinny ass broad starts in how she was doing her crunches all wrong (and she was but I just didn't like how snoooty the skinny broad was telling her, like she couldn't do anything right...), first off this skinny broad had her holding a 10 pound weight and she was really struggling to do even one crunch and was pulling with her head and shoulders...I couldn't stand watching her and instead of getting up and leaving (like I knew I should have) I suggested that she try to do it without the weight and to work on her form first and when she got to where she could do so many crunches then she could add the weight...The Skinny broad gave me a look that would burned a lesser woman...I went back to doing my workout but I could hear the skinny broad muttering to herself how some people didn't know how to mind their own business...

I guess my problem is I've been where the heavyset gal is..and I know how easy it is to get discouraged when you can't do what others are doing...I see so many heavyset people come into the gym and start off trying to do what someone who has been doing it for awhile does...and then you don't ever see them again...I was really lucky in that my trainer started me off slow and we worked on form, then added weights. I see the differance in what I can do now from how I was 2 years ago...I still refuse to be in competetion with anyone..it doesn't matter to me if some skinny broad can do 50 squats holding a 40 pound barbell....I know what I am capable of doing and I do it...
Anyhoooo...I really must learn to keep my mouth shut and not give out unsolicated help...I'm sure this gal would have been alright if I hadn't said anything..it's just bugs me to see someone struggle...

Goals

Ok so it wasn't real bright of me to set my 90 day goals back in Jan to include my birthday and Easter.....
Needless to say I did not reach my #1 goal of 159 and to look awesome...hell..I didn't even make my halfway goal of 165...but I'm not going to get discouraged and give up...Nope..I know it's in me (somewhere) to get to that goal..at least I feel like I look awesome today...wearing my white capri (size 8/10) pants and a long red tunic with red sandals...

#2 goal was to be able to run the whole 3 miles around the lake at the park without walking...well..a month ago I pulled a hamstring and am lucky to run 2 miles right now...but what the hey...I've done 2 (make that a BIG TWO) 10k since Jan and even came in 3rd for my age group...Not bad...and I'll just keep working at running around the lake until I get there...

#3 goal was to get my body fat down to 29%...not sure where it really is since I haven't had #1 Niece do the ole pinch skin test since the first of March...I guess I need to get over there this next weekend and do it...

#4 goal was to wear a 2 piece swimsuit and show off my tatoo...Well, I did get my tatoo and a tankini (which is 2 pieces) and I have been wearing it at the gym...and if I must say so ...I do look good in it..and you can see the top of my tatoo..Not bad...so see I did reach 1 of my goals at least...

I know that setting goals is important and that you REALLY need to plan on reaching them (why else would you bother to set them?) so I am leaving my goals (which I printed out) on the wall here at work where I can see them (they've been there since January) and I will keep working on them.....because
I DESERVE TO BE SUPER FIT AND LOOK GOOD!!!!

Looking back

I was driving home from the gym last night thinking about how I really need to get friends of my own...people (girlfreinds) my own age...not family...that I can do things with besides at the gym...like go to movies, hiking, shopping or just visit...I realized last night that I just don't know how to go about making and KEEPING friends...I do have my friends in SC and I love them but mostly I'm by myself...
I've never really been good at keeping in touch with friends..I had a "gang" that I ran around with when I was in Jr high/High school but when I moved from Wyoming I lost contact with ALL of them (my Mom who is in her 70's still keeps in touch with a girlfriend that she went to grade school with..how coool is that?)...then I married The Kids father at 18 and he became my whole life..any friends I had were his and when we got divoriced I left them behind too (I didn't want to be reminded of our lives together)...over the next 7 years I would say my best friend was my lil sister, #1 & #2 Nieces mom...we lived together for awhile..used to get really messed up together..but then Jason (my son) died and that changed things again...She moved back to Wyoming and I went crazy until I moved in with Larry...He was my best friend.He made friends really easy and had a lot of friends and I just kind of tagged along...they were good people and I really liked them except that I don't think that they would have been my friends except that I was with Larry...I have made friends over the years at differant jobs I've held but I never wanted to mix work with home and when I left a job, I left those friends...I'm just never have been one to keep up with friends..never thought that I was important enough for anyone to want to keep up with me...
Now here I am 56 years old and by myself...most of the people I know are married or are couples. Not that I want to be married or a couple...I just want that feeling you can call someone anytime and say "let's get together" or just gab on the phone about anything...and not feel like I'm "bothering" anyone or taking up thier free time...I can't blame my situation on anyone else but myself..I just need to figure out how to go from where i am to where I want to be...
One of my biggest problems is my self esteem...I don't think I am good enough or interesting enough that someone would really want to spend their free time with...
I really need to get over that!!!!

Three Years

It was three years ago today that I said good bye to Larry for the last time.

I think I knew the day before my birthday that he won't be with me for much longer. I remember asking him to hang in there, not to go on my birthday..I knew it was selfish of me but at least by that time he wasn't in pain..He was barely aware of anything...mostly sleeping..

We had brought him home from the hospital in January and set up the hospital bed in the dining room so he could see out the windows to the yard that he had loved so much..I did have hope at that time that a miracle would happen and he would actually get better despite what all the doctors had said...but it wasn't meant to be...he hung in there for four more months and I'm thankful that we had that time together.

April 13, 2003 fell on a Sunday, it was a beautiful spring day, and somehow I knew this would be the last day for Larry...I called the girls to come say good bye to him..It was hard to watch The Kid, she was going thro so many things herself at that time..She was in the middle of a nasty custody fight with her Ex for Bubba and had given birth to Lil Missy in February..for her to lose her Dad at this time just seemed so unfair...but she handled it...I'm proud of her. Larry never opened his eyes that day but I know he could hear the girls say goodbye..He did look so peaceful. Later that evening I was sitting next to his bed holding his hand when I felt/heard him sigh and I leaned over and told him it was alright I understood he had to go and that I loved him with all my heart..he let out a long sigh and was still, his long struggle was over.

I remember feeling such loss...You see, he was not only my husband but my best freind, my other half. I knew that I could/would go on living with out him but I never knew it would be so hard at times...We had 23 years together...lots of good times and some hard times. He was truly one of The Good Guys..He made me laugh..he made me feel loved...he made me feel safe...And I miss him more than words can say.

I've been struggling with up & down feelings for about 3 weeks now.. Mostly I've wanted just to be by myself to remember my time with Larry ...you would think after three years it would get easier...but it doesn't.

The Dreaded Easter Candy

Is there nothing better than biting into a Chocolate Easter Bunny? ...hmmmmm...almost orgasmic just thinking about it...
Ok who out there knows where the Easter Bunny came from...just how does it relate to Easter? Besides being Spring..the real question is who cares if we get to eat CHOCOLATE CANDY... It's everywhere you go...It's the first thing you see when you walk into the store...How can we resist??????

This all started because of my freinds Con & Paula up in SC... Paula's basic menu is potato chips (she only eats a special kind that she gets thro a mail catalog from PA. I've never tasted them because they look way to greasy), any kind of Chocolate and Coke...Needless to say she is very overweight and always sick...anyhoooo the point here is she always has chocolate at the house and usually I'm alright with that (I know it's going to be there when I go so I set my mind on not being tempted)...and usually I can pass it up without any trouble...Con is the same way, he rarely eats the chocolate but will buy it for her (his way of showing her how much he loves her?) but this last time up both Con and I got tempted by the Easter Egg Malted Balls....(I totally LOVE MALTED BALLS, the way they melt in your mouth, the way they taste...)they were just sitting there...waiting for us...we both looked at each other and knew that we were DOOMED...so we compromised...There wasn't many left so we split them up between the 2 of us...(not sure where Paula was at the time..probably out buying more Easter Candy...). Now you have to understand that I haven't had any REAL Chocolate CANDY in a very long time...(I did try the sugar free choc candy but it gave me a tummy ache)...Luckily we were on our way out of the house to the gym when we grabbed the candy and it seem to satify both of us...EXCEPT that I've been dreaming of Chocolate Since...This is why I DO NOT eat even ONE piece because it takes days, weeks to get out of my system....
I will be sooo glad when Easter is over and they get rid of all that candy at the store...That's why I put off going to the store until late Sunday night after I EAT...more Will power then...I rarely go down the candy or cookie aisle at the store...

Mostly I've been saying to myself today...."165...I want to weigh 165...only 2 more pounds...don't screw it up by eating that junk...enjoy your salad...I will not go the store today and buy me Just one Chocolate Bunny...NO Sir...I won't".

Then Evil Eva says to me "But if you walk over to Publix's it won't make you gain any weight because you will have walked a mile..." I remind her that it takes walking 1 mile to work off 100 calories and a choc Bunny is more than 100 calories"

Then Mona starts in crying "We really need that bunny..it's Easter and it can't be all that bad or they won't sell it"

I say "Who are you Kidding..you both know if I give in I will be sorry...so Forget it..Instead of eating Choc Bunnies, I'm going to sit here and eat Bunny food, my lovely spinach salad with strawberries, blue cheese crumbles and walnut pieces...Now that really sounds good to me"

So I figured to keep me honest I would come here today and get it out of my system...
ONly 4 more days to go.....

Fifty-six

What does being 56 mean to me? First off, I don't know that I truly feel like I'm 56 years old...sounds kind of old.
I've lived my life in stages...some good...some bad..I wonder how many more I will have to live thro?
I've seen a lot of changes in myself this past 3 years, more like the past 6 years since I turned 50.. I think I've gone thro the "change"..it kind of slipped by me...I really haven't had time to take too much notice of it.. I did stop my "periods" about a year ago..wondered at the time if it was from exercising so much...
When I lost most of my weight I noticed I could actually see my pubic hair and that there was alot of gray hair and that it had thinned out so I shaved it all off (I read that thinning hair down there is a sign of the change). I figured this was a way of ignoring it and it looks alot better when I wear a thong...Oh yeah that's a big change for me...I no longer wear "granny panties"...I have a large collection of thongs & sport bikini underwear. I noticed that my boobs sag some so I wear a push up bra, when I'm not wearing my sports bra which smashes everything down anyway..I did go from a size 42D to a 36B cup bra since losing the weight.
I now have wrinkles (laugh lines) around my eyes and still have a bit of a "chicken wattle" under my chin..and don't forget my "bat wings" under my arms...but I'm not letting those things bother me at this time...I figure I'll just blame them on losing so much wieght...I just slather the wrinkle-free creme and tell myself that it isn't that noticable...LOL...I also wear makeup now to draw away the attention to the wrinkles..it makes me feel almost pretty..
My hair is probably pretty gray too but I keep it colored & styled. Thanks to T my hairdresser (no more cutting & dying it myself)...she's even gotten to where she isn't quite so conservative..in fact when I went to her this past weekend she even said that she likes my hair with more pop (bright red streaks)...it took awhile to convince her but she's there with me now..
Being heavy does make a person OLDer than they need to be...at least it did me...I felt old most of the time..I dressed old because there wasn't that much out there to choose from. I have noticed lately that is changing in the stores but altho the style might be changing it still doesn't make you look good in them..take the black gal on American Idol that just got voted off last week...altho her voice was great I cringed at some of her outfits..they made her look even bigger than she was...and she was definately good size...I still worry that I'm dressing too young for my age but most of the time I think I look good...at least I feel good about the way I dress...it's very individual and I like it...especially my 4" heels..they make me feel tall...I probably spend way to much monies on clothing but what the hey...it makes me happy....
I think I'm alot more active than most women my age...not all...I've met a few that can run circle around me ...and I really admire them...I'm convinced that my being active keeps me young...in mind and body...
I've come a long ways in the last three years sooo being 56 is no big deal...no more than being 55...or 53...or 50...

My birthday yesterday

I've have mixed feelings about turning another year older. After the big deal I made of my birthday last year I decided I didn't want to do anything this year, just to spend a quiet day by myself..which is exactly what I did.
I woke up early and laid in the bed imagining how it would have been if Larry was still here... it wasn't a bad thing, it left me feeling warm and loved...I then got up and went to the park to run/walk twice around the lake (6 miles all together)...I decided not to call #1 Niece...for one thing I figured being Palm Sunday she would be taking the Boy to church...and I really wanted to just be by myself and enjoy the morning at the park..it's so pretty right now with the everything turning green. I ended up walking the last bit and went on a couple of differant paths than I normally do..it was nice... Then I came home and mowed the lawn, pulled some weeds & trimmed the holly bushes. My poor yard! Before Larry died it was one of the best looking yards in the neighborhood...I just don't seem to have the motivation to keep it up the way it should be....
I did wear my shorts hoping to get some sun on these lily white legs of mine...but all I see is more freckles...too bad they don't meet up then I could pass it off as a tan...oh well.while out mowing My lil Sister (#1 nieces Mom) called and left a message on my voce mail..singing Happy B'day...
I then went in and read a Nora Roberts book..one of the Quinn stories...
My older sister called me from Wyoming and sang (off key on purpose, that's her thing) Happy Birthday to me...we talked for awhile..it's always good to hear from her even if she is crazy...
I grilled me some salmon on my George Foreman grill, nuked me a sweet potato and steamed some peas...for my birthday dinner...
I always fixed everyones favorite dinner for their birthday...wonder why we always associate food with birthdays...birthday cake & ice cream??? hmmmm....
After finishing the book I saw it was still early (only 8 pm) so went to WalMart to pick up groceries for the week...found this really cute dusty rose crochet top that will go perfectly with this skirt I have...so bought it and said Happy Birthday to me...My Mom called while I was at the store..we talked for awhile...she had to sing to me tooo...(why does my family do that?)...
Got home and watched a Sam Elliot movie...he's sooo hot...then went to bed..
Nothing exciting but just the kind of day I was in the mood for...

Both the Kid and #1 Niece called me this morning to let me know that they didn't realize yesterday was the 9th...I told them not to worry...No big deal...they both have their own lives and were pretty busy yesterday....

My weekend

The past weekend was good. Spending time with Con & Paula is exactly what I needed...it feels like the black cloud that has been hanging over my head for weeks is gone...The thing I love about Con is that I can be myself totally with him. As I've said before he reminds me so much of Larry, he is a big guy and is crazy, at times he even dressed like Lar...When I first met Con this was a hard thing for me to deal with...I met him thro work (he was my area manager for a whole 2 months). We laugh alot about that first meeting..The year was 2004 and right after Halloween. I had gone to a halloween party dressed as a punk/rocker (kinda) and had used this spray in color on my hair, which didn't wash out as promised, so my hair was a bright pink. Con was interviewing for the position and had his hair back in a pony tail (it went down to his waist, he cut it the next day after he got the job and hasn't grown it back). He was one of my techs and we had talked on the phone for months but this was the first time we had met...We just looked at each other and busted out laughing, neither one of us had told the other about our hair...Right off the bat I knew that we would be good friends.. He decided that he wasn't manager material and has since gone back to being one of my techs. I think one of the things I love about him is that he is so much in love with his wife and they are both secure in their marriage. Sometimes watching the two of them reminds me so much of Lar & I and how we were together. We have a special relationship/friendship and I am always comfortable around both of them.. We have the same interests, especially now that Con is getting into the gym and getting fit. We talk everyday on the phone and he makes me laugh...When I get to feeling like I can't handle being alone anymore I know that I am welcome to go up to SC and spend the weekend with them anytime (no invitation needed)...They always make time for me...Now how cool is that? I am soo lucky to have them both for friends....

So with that said...let me tell you about my weekend....
I took Friday off to get my taxes done, my drivers licence renewed and to drive up to SC early...ended up not getting my drivers licence renewed (they moved the motor vehicle department and I still have to find one). Did get my taxes done...not good...the thing about being single and not having any dependents or tax breaks means I get a whole $151 back from Federal and $141 from the state...it cost me $140 to do my taxes at H&R Block...I think next year I will bite the bullet and do them myself...it's just that Lar & I always took them to H&R for the security of knowing we had done everything right...well since there isn't that much now that I can hold off on my taxes and I make soooo little income during the year..I guess I can do them myself and save me that extra monies... I was hoping to get more back so I could take a vacation to Colorado/Wyoming this summer...We'll have to see what happens there.
I drove up to SC and we and had mexican for dinner...it wasn't the same place we went to on New Years Eve and wasn't as good...I had spinach quesadilla and a raspberry maragrita (which was way too sweet and I think they used wine instead of tequilla). Saturday Morn Con & I went to Lexington SC and did a 10K Historic Tour..(Paula had to work).The weather was great, couldn't ask for better. It was really fun and I learned alot about the area and the civil war..You get to the center of town and they give you this map and you follow it. They have all sorts of stuff written about the houses on the tour and at one point they had this museum with differant old buildings from the early 1800. We got off the tour and spent some time talking to this guy who was sitting on his porch reading his newspaper...he waved at us and invited us up to visit..his family had lived in this house since the civil war (it was a mansion). He wasn't part of the tour but if you ask me he should have been, he was that interesting. With all of our stopping and checking things out it took us about 2 1/2 hrs to do the tour but it was well worth giving up my run that I was going to do that morning.
After we got home we just relaxed and visited. That night we grilled out.
Sunday morning Con & I went to his gym and worked out..then back to home to visit some more. I got home around 6 pm hoping to mow the lawn but it was raining so I just sat on the verandra and enjoyed it, which I love and thought was the perfect way to end the weekend.