On MY way to SC

for the New Year..will be back on Weds...

I got up early this morning , made my bed,took a shower, fixed my hair and actually put makeup on...I then packed my bag...fixed myself a good healthy breakfast and cleaned the kitchen while listening to a motivational tape.

I really feel like I'm getting back to being MYSELF....for so long I've had NO motivation to do anything...these things I've listed up above may not sound like a big deal but for ME in the last few months are things that just didn't seem important enough to do...or just seemed like to much work...I still have to push myself to do anything but it's getting easier..I want to be back to where I don't have to think about doing things like this and just do it....

All I've got left to do is to clean up my truck and get gas and then off I go...
It's only a 3 hr drive and I'm anxious to see Conry & Paula...I know Paula doesn't get up before noon so I figure I'll be arriving at a good time....

I know I'll be making memories.....

Rainy Day

and still feeling good about myself in spite of it...

We need the rain so bad here in Georgia that I'm actually glad to see it...even more glad that I'm at home and don't have to drive the bus in it...altho it is a slow steady rain ..the kind that sinks into the ground...just what we need...
It's hard for me to get to concerned about the drought (altho I know it's serious) because where I come from (Wyoming) it was so much drier there (except for the snow) and when we were in a drought everything was brown...here things are still green but i can really tell there's a drought when I go hiking up in the mountains and where there used to be a running stream there is only a trickle now...the waterfalls are really what I miss....again only a trickle..although it does make it easier for river crossings......

I don't have any hikes planned right now....all the hikes are level 4 & 5 and I'm a level 3 hiker. At least right now...working on getting to be a level 4..hopefully by this spring. I miss camping this winter but since there is a campfire ban for all the states I camp in I don't see much sense in going...it gets dark about 5:30 pm and without a campfire there's not much to do except go to bed....No Fun...I could go on some day hikes but just haven't seen anything that interests me and as I said i'm not ready for a strenous hike right now..I have no doubt i could do it..I just hate slowing down the group...besides that my friend Bruce (who's hikes I usually go on because he always takes us to a waterfall or two) has been having health problems and has had to take a break from hiking...I like some of the other leaders but it's just not the same without Bruce...But I'll keep checking the website for the AOC and if I see a hike that really interests me then I'll sign up and go..

Making my plans to go to SC for the New Years...I have to be back on Weds to make sure my bus is ready for Thurs when I go back to work...I have to take down all the Christmas pictures the kids drew & colored for me..I probably decorated my bus more than I did my house...how funny is that...I wish I could post some of the pictures here but since I don't have a scanner anymore it's not possible....They are so cute and some are really good....I'm thinking about doing a pet theme next...I already have some pictures that a few of them did for me of their pets..I will put them up in the bus by the childs assigned seat..for some reason they get a big kick out of that...Now if only I could think of something to keep the middle schoolers under control...LOL....

Climbing out of the dark hole!

I've decided to use this blog only for things not related to my struggle with my weight (if that's possible) and to start another blog to journal in for losing the weight..it's called Doing It My Way.

This blog will be for dealing with my other things in life (yes, there is other things besides weight problems). I have found myself so immersed in my depression about my weight that I've let all the other good and bad things go on the side...that's one of the reasons I haven't been here much lately...Not sure how this is going to work out.

All I can say is what people have been saying about me for years and that is that you never know what I will do.
I will come here to tell you about my life as MS SUE the bus driver. Also my adventures hiking and backpacking...
My struggles with learning how to live on a budget....
Sometimes I might even come here when I'm in the deep hole called depression (hopefully this will be few)...

For today ...I feel good ...I feel for the first time in a long time that I've gotten a handle on my life..I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow...not that I have any great plans for tomorrow but there have been times lately that I didn't want to wake up in the morning...

I'm planning on going to SC for New Years Eve..something I've done for the past 3 years...to see my freinds Conry & Paula....I haven't seen them since last New Years and I miss them so much that I decided that to spend the money and do without something else (not sure what right now but I'll figure it out) and just go...usually we exchange gifts but this year I told them My gift will have to be me coming to spend time with them...They understand! They are my very best friends....I'm looking forward to seeing them again...

I feel like I've been in a black hole for way too long..It's time to climb out and start living a full life again

Christmas was good!

I'm good! and life is going on.....
I'm trying to get my life back to where it was a year and a half ago..before I quit my job and started gaining all this weight back...I've been dealing with a lot of depression and this makes me very lazy....I haven't been UNHappy exactly but then I haven't been happy either..some days are better than others and I think that all is going on fine and then I come to a bump in the road and fall back on my old habits...
Being in debt is a bummer but it's not the end of the world..I've been here before when The Kid was a baby before I met Larry and I know that I can survive this just like I did then...so what if I couldn't give my Grandkids the Christmas I wanted to..that's what they have parents for...and I don't think they really cared that I didn't give them expensive gifts but they were happy that they got to come to my house on Christmas Eve (a tradition) and spend time with me..at least that's what I'm telling myself today...

I've let things go so bad here around the house but I'm trying to get it back together. I've been keeping my house clean each day...no more dirty dishes in the sink and dirty clothes all over my bedroom and unmade bed....and now I'm working on getting the office cleaned...the son-in-law came over yesterday and put up shelves in my closet (something I started a year ago and never finished) so I can go through all the stuff that I've piled up on the floor and find a place for everything...I also straighted up the garage yesterday and took a load of junk that I know I will never use or sell to the dump...there is now a clear path so I can get to the shelves on the walls..It feels good when I walk through my house...I still have lots to do but then that's a never ending job isn't it?

I am not calling this my New Years Resultion...no this is just me getting back to being MYSELF...

I admit that I'm ADDICTED

Yep, it's that time of the year...CHRISTMAS....and already I've spent more time watching TV in this last week than I have in Months....starting last Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) I turned on my TV and watched Christmas movies from 8 am til midnight...For some strange reason I love Christmas Movies...the sappier the better...Every day I get home I turn on the tv to the Hallmark station to see what Christmas movie they have....last night I was upset because there wasn't any on that I haven't already seen this week....and nothing on any of the other stations either....bummer....but I did see an advert for a new one that is to show tonight....whooopppeee...

I should start keeping a list of the movies but mostly I just watch them and I'm lucky if I can remember the names of the movies until I see it again... the ones so far that I really remember are :) Picking Up/Dropping Off (a favorite of mine), The Carol Christmas (another Scroogelike movie with Tori Spellman, not one I will watch again) The Christmas Card (a new one for me and I liked this one), The Christmas List (another favorite I watch each year), A Grandpa for Christmas (still undecided about this one..I might have to watch it again to decide LOL)...there was one with Linda Hamilton set in Germany during the war that was good, I just don't remember the name...I think it might have been Silent Night or something like that...it was good..there are many more I've watched all ready and I see advertisements for new ones that I haven't seen yet...I can't seem to stop myself....LOL

This addiction is soooo bad that I found myself watching The Waltons and Little House on the Parire Christmas repeats and I LOVED THEM NOW as much as I did when the origially came out back in the 80's...

They haven't showed My all time favorite the orginal MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET yet ....but thats all right because #1 Niece gave me the video for Christmas a few years ago...I even love the remakes of this movie....I guess in my heart I believe in Santa or at least what he stands for..the good ...I'm saving it for closer to Christmas ....once I've seen all the others...It's something to look forward to ......

I'm thinking I really need help :)