I'm Trying, I'm trying!!!

Christmas is only a week away and this time next week I will be holding our annual Christmas Eve at my house....I'm sooo not in the mood this year...
I hate to think that all Christmas is is about the gifts...the gift giving and getting...because I'm still not working and trying to watch my monies I've only bought the grandkids one present each and you can't believe how hard this is for me...I see so many little things I would love to buy for them but it all adds up so fast...and I know that they don't really need them...it's just that I love shopping and picking out just the right gift for each child and watching them when they open the gift...I guess this year they will just have to be satisfied with getting all my love....it probably bothers me more than it will the kids...all four of them are soooo good.

And it's really hard to get in the mood when it's 70 plus outside...yesterday I went running at the park, first time in over two months, in my sleeveless shirt....it was freakin' hot...also I have to tell you that it wasn't a good run...I ended up walking part of the three miles... I had planned on doing six miles but ran out of time since I had to go home, get cleaned up to go get my hair done....Getting my hair done when I don't know when I will actually get a job is an extravagance (I could have used that money to buy the GrandKids more presents) that I probably shouldn't have given into...but I tell my self I have to look good just in case I actually get a job interview...I mean who would hire a old gray haired woman...well, it isn't actually gray but it sure was gettng dull and gray at the roots.. anyhoooo....it looks really good today...I'm real happy about the color and for the first time in quite a while I feel good about how I look today...