Thursday, March 30, 2006

Risk

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,
To reach out for another is to risk involvement,
To expose our feelings is to risk exposing our true self,
To place your ideas and dreams before the crowd is to risk loss,
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair'
To try at all is to risk failure.

But risk we must, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The man, the woman who risks nothing, does nothing, is nothing.
*******************************

A freind of mine posted this on eDiets today and it hit me that I'm just not up to taking any "Risks" right now... That's probably one of the main reasons I dropped out of match.com..."To love is to risk not being loved in return". It's easier just to risk nothing...to take no chances of being hurt or to risk failure...

I've had this ache in my heart for days now...I know what it is...it's missing Larry..I also know that I can't fill this emptiness by eating or just wallowing in sorrow...that I need to take care of myself because this wiill pass and life will go on...I will be strong enough to take Risks ...but just not today. I just have to get thro the next couple of weeks.

I'm going to SC tommorrow to see Con..he's a freind that reminds me soo much of Larry and when I get to where I can't stand missing him anymore, I go to see Con and he makes it all better... Con has started to working out at the gym and we're going to do a 5k saturday morning. Altho we talk everyday on the phone, I can't wait to hear his laughter in real life..to see him smile and just to be with him...
Oh yeah, Con is happily married and I really like his wife so there isn't anything sexual in our relationship..just really good Freinds...that's what I truly need right now...

1 comment:

Suzann said...

Sue - have a good trip and enjoy yourself. A widow friend of mine (who is years ahead on the grief journey) gave me a tip which I share here - "when you get in one of those down places, reflect on why you are there and what you are supposed to learn from being there." Don't know if that helps you but it helped me to focus on something that seemed to move things forward. I will be thinking of you - be gentle with yourself. Hugs, Suzann