I've been trying to get back that determination I had when I first started this journey into weight loss....It seems like it's been elusive for the past year and I just can't seem to find it. Maybe it's still there and it's just became such a part of me that I don't even realize it.
I remember the First day I walked into the gym, my mind made up that I was going to change my life and NOTHING was going to stop me...I had a PLAN and damn it felt good..I felt so powerful..I knew I could do this..I want that feeling back.
Well it will be 3 years in June and I'm still on the plan (more or less) at least as far as exercising goes....and I have changed my eating habits (more or less) but I really was hoping I would be further along in the weight loss...In fact I really was hoping to be at goal by now... I've been struggling with this last 20 pounds for what seems forever to me...It's like I'm determined NOT to reach it...I keep sabatoging myself mentally and physicallly... and I'm Sick to death of it....It's not motivation I need, It's that Determination to get where I want to be that I Need & Want back...I just wish I knew HOW to get it back?
I know all the little tricks to use (I've been at this a long time)to motivate...they work for about a day or so.....What I need is to get that Determination back that NO MaTTER What I Can do this...
Two things happened this past week that has gotten me thinking...
#1. I watched Prime Time last week and it was about this group of overweight people (5 women & 1 man) who agreed to have their pictures taken in 2 piece swim wear and if they didn't lose 15 pounds in 2 months these pictues would be shown on National TV...they were not given any diets or told how to lose the 15 pounds just that if they didn't lose it the pictures would be televised...Only one person didn't lose 15 pounds but she did lose 13 pounds...I felt that she was at a disavantage from the start because she didn't have as much to lose at the rest of the group (which IMHO each could have averaged at least 50-100 pounds overweight). I felt that she probably only had 20 pounds that she need to lose, which in my mind shows that it's definately easier to lose weight when you have alot of it to lose. BTW they didn't show her picture...they said they only wanted to prove that the THREAT was enough to make a person follow through..I think they proved their point pretty good...
Would I ever do this....go on National TV? Probabaly not....but it was interesting...
#2. A freind that I haven't seen for at least 6-8 months came into the gym on Saturday...K & I used to work out with the same trainer...She had gone from a size 16 to a size 10 using a cruise for her motivation...She stopped coming to the gym and now is starting back because she has gained all of her weight back plus...She is about the same height & built as me and to me she looked so puffy and heavy...She told me that her size 16's are getting too tight and that she hoping to get back into working out...Her Hubby and her are now on this diet where they deliver the food you are going to eat to your house...and they are going on another cruise in Novemer so she wants to get back down in her weight by then...(Why do I feel that she is doomed to play this over & over?) Just looking at her i thought to myself that she must weigh more than me because there is no way I look that heavy...but she got on the scale and lo & behold she weighs 6 pounds less than me....yet here I am wearing my size 10 pants...I guess all the weight training I've kept up has helped me...In some perverse way this made me feel good but then I thought to myself that this just reinforces me to know that there is NO Freakin' Way I can ever let up on exercising...and that I have to get my eating under control...or I will be just like K and back at where I was 3 years ago.... And no Way do I ever want that to happen...
So I will keep struggling and maybe someday eating the way I know I should be will be just like my exercising....Something I can't imagine not doing any other way...
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2 comments:
I think you're focusing on the scale weight way too much. Go back to your original goal and look at what size you expected to be at the weight you planned to reach. You may feel that you haven't hit your goal, but you have, in fact, succeeded it. Quite a bit.
You're eating may be inhibiting your weight loss some, but you're not gaining maintaining this lifestyle. Your body is getting smaller even as your weight stays the same (or drops a pound or two).
Maybe the key is a cutting plan that calls for fewer weights and more cardio. You may lose a little muscle (I doubt much), but it may help speed up the fat loss. I don't know, just pulling from the BTFFTM book.
Don't knock yourself too much. Everyone around can see the physical results.
you said - size 10 pants - whoo wee - muscle more important than scale - my good heart is with you. you have a real life testimonial from colleen - "everyone can see the results." take care
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