Larry & Christmas

I love the holidays but they make me miss Larry more than any other time of the year.. My emotions are all over the place...
I drive by the Christmas lights and think how pretty, then I think "Larry should see these". He loved this time to the year, not so much the gift giving but the season itself. We would put our lights on the house the day after Thanksgiving (thanks to our Neighbor)and I'm talking about the whole outside of the house and lots of lights in the yard even in the trees. Then I would turn them on every morning so he could see them as he drove off to work. He left for work at 5 am and it was still dark then. On the weekends we would always drive around the neighborhoods just looking at everyones Christmas lights. There were a couple of years when we first moved into the house that the whole cul-de-sac (all 6 houses) decorated and you could see them miles away...As the years went by and people moved away, new peoples moved in and now there is only one house that is decorated and it's not mine... I just don't have the holiday spirit. I did pull out a few decorations for the inside of the house and of course the little tree that #1 Niece bought for Larry's hospital room his last Christmas. It's up on the Mantle with the angel that I bought to watch over him...

This is the third Christmas I have spent without him and I'm finding myself missing him more than words can say. Someone suggested that maybe it would help if I told about some of my memories of past Christmas's with Larry...

He was my own Santa, at 6'4" and weighing almost 300 pounds, he definately had the belly for it, it even jiggled when he laughed and he did laugh alot... He loved watching kids, he would sit in his chair and just be amazed at the joy they had opening presents... He was a big kid himself...and loved playing with the toys as much as the kids did... I do remember the year he bought "the Kid" her bike and we all put it together Christmas Eve... of course he wouldn't even look at the directions.. said he knew what he was doing.. then we ended up having to take it all apart and as I read the directions he & "the Kid" put it together... we were up all night but we sure did have fun...at least that is how I remember it.
We were together for 23 Christmas's and that's alot of memories but I would give anything if he was still here to make more. I guess I am just greedy. Hopefully I won't become a "grinch". That would be pretty hard to do with my GrandKids. I'll just keep Larry here in my heart and keep talking to him in my head telling him about all the things he's missing.