I Am who I Am!!

I'm going out with #2 neice tonight and just got out of the shower, saw myself naked in the mirror
and Moanin' Mona started in "look at all those rolls of fat"...
Evil Eva chimes in with "why are we working soo hard every day to lose when we still look like shit naked? "
Sexy Sue tries to tell them "But we do look better than we did 2 years ago"
but they are having none of that.
Evil Eva butts in with "We are never going to look good even if we lose all that weight. "
Moanin' Mona cries "I don't like looking at the mirror. Plllleaaseee Don't make me look at that thing anymore"
"Yah, no matter what you do, you can't make a silk purse out of a cow's ear" Evil Eva chants.
"Now just wait a damn minute" yells Sexy Sue" I'm not going to listen to you two tonight. I'm going out and I'm going to have fun. I'm going to wear my new black pants, size 12 not size 22, and I'm going to wear my 4" heels, which I love, and don't forget that new top that shows off my shoulders. Now you may think that we look fat, but I don't care. I know that we look better than we used too. And besides that I AM WHO I AM. I'm not trying to be a model or even keep up with all those girls, who by the way are a lot younger than me, at the gym. So be quiet, I don't want to hear from you two again."

So in the quiet I get to thinking about two differant conversations I had at the gym this morning. The first on was with Jennifer, now she is in her 30's probably weighs about 120 and works out 4 to 5 times a week. She was telling me about how she needs to lose the fat around her middle (I don't see it but she still says it's there) , this while we are doing abs... I think to myself that I would give anything to look like she does, but still she isn't happy with herself...

Then later in the locker room I was talking with Tanya, now let me tell you about Tanya. She is in her 30's and weighs about 325 lbs, her daughter comes with her to the gym to help her put on her shoes because she can't bend over that far, but she still comes to the gym 3 times a week for water areobics. She has lost 75 pounds so far. Our conversation was how good it feels to be able to move around with out all that extra weight. She knows she still has a long way to go in losing weight but she also knows if she doesn't take off more weight she won't be around to see her daughter grow up. I think about how brave she is to come to the gym where there are so many fit people. She told me this morning that the first day she came there so was soo afraid of what people would think but then I started a conversation with her and her daughter and it made her feel she belonged in the gym... I'm glad she felt that way, but she also helped me because I know if I don't keep watching what I eat and keep working out, I will be back up to that 235 plus weight and I too will have trouble getting my shoes on...

So any way this gets me to thinking that can be like Jennifer and never be satisfied with what I see in the mirror or I can be like Tanya and be happy that I am not where I was two years ago.. that doesn't mean that I'm going to listen to Evil Eva and quit trying to get TBS (Total Body Satisfaction) just that I'm not going to beat myself up over the fact that I don't have the perfect body. So no matter what I see in the mirror, I know that I look better today than I did two years ago... and two years from now I may not be beautiful but I will look better than I do today.