I know , I know

I have at least 20 pounds I still need to lose before I will be at the weight that I should be at...but I'm going to quit beating myself up over it and start to enjoy where I am at Right now as far as my weight goes...that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop exercising and eating right...Those are a part of my life now and I won't be happy living any other way...what I am going to stop is all the worry and aggravation because I'm not losing any more...I feel as long as I don't gain any weight back it won't hurt me to step back for awhile and relax...

I think if I was really serious about losing this last bit of weight I won't keep buying new clothes that fit me now each week. So in other words I have been sabatoging myself for the last few months and beating myself up over it..Well that stops today!!!

I was looking at my clothes in the closet this morning (I have more clothes now than I ever have had in my whole life)and I absolutely love what I have been buying for myself and I'm not ready to give them up yet, which is what I would have to do if I lost that 20 pounds because they would be too big...now this may not sound bad and I know that I would be buying even better clothes but for right now I just want to enjoy what I have...

IF I start to lose weight again, I won't be unhappy about it but I'm not going to keep trying to change the way I live just so I Will lose that weight...in the back of my mind I keep thinking that since I'm doing everything right now I will start to lose again...even if I don't lose by the scale I should get firmer as I add more muscle...which will make me smaller and that is what this is all about...me looking good and being healthy.