Being Positive

Anther blogg...boy am I on a roll....but I feel good this morning (altho I'm doing alot of coughing) and know that I have to get back on track with everything instead of letting Moaning Mona and Evil Eva run my life...I can sit around all day, watch tv and moan about how bad things are but that won't change anything And I need things to change TODAY not tommorow or when I feel better...I need it done NOW...

There are so many things in my life that I have let slip and from reading my last years blog I see it started then and I really haven't done anything about...oh sure I tried for a day or two but then I let MM & EE take control...so how am I going to keep that from happening this time? Truthfully I'm not sure ....but I feel that if I take babysteps and not try to do everything at one time ....not put all the pressure on me at one time that maybe I can actually get back my "Sexy" who I truly loved being...

All my life I've struggled with things...no monies, being fat, feeling insecure but I KNOW those were all my own doings...no one is to blame but ME...I'm the one that has to take charge..if I don't have monies then I need to get out there and find out what is available to me..and if one thing doesn't work then try another...Everything can't be handed to me...(altho I'm still going to play the lottery and hope I win)...but I'm also going to look at what else is available to me..

Monday at the pharmacy there was a newspaper on the bench and while I was waiting for my prescription I glanced at the wanted part time jobs looking for an easy way to make some extra monies (not sure just what I was looking for, just know I need more monies). There was one in there for the Kidney Foundation Services for a CSR to make calls for pick up of donations. Now this is one of the charities I truly feel is a worthy charity and have tried to support it in the past due to my son Jason's illness with renal failure many years ago....so I brought the ad home but it's been sitting on my desk since then...as usual MM & EE have been telling me that this isn't something I want to do...I mean I hate telemarketing, calling peoples at their homes and bothering them..and besides I like my evenings and on the weekends I want to do things .....but I kept thinking about it and this morning I realized that this could be an answer for me only if I actually do something about it. So I sent an (what I feel is an informed) email to the address stating my reasons why I need this job and requested they get back with me if the job is still available...It doesn't pay alot and being on commission it would be up to me to push myself..but in the position I am right now every little penny helps besides I feel this would be a way to make myself feel better about ME...
If I do get the job it won't end my money problems totally and I still need to look at other options (like finding a summer job) but a least it is a POSITIVE step in the right direction...and if I don't get the position then I will keep looking for something else...I know it's out there...

It amazes me that just knowing that there are things I CAN DO for making my life better (which "Sexy" has always known) I feel so much more POSITIVE and ready to face life again.

Now if I could just figure out how to make it LAST.....