Responsibilty

I like to think of myself as responsible but I hate when I am made to feel that I have to do something or guilty if I chose not to do something even if it is only in my mind...
I have been a member of eDiets for over 2 years...I think it's a good site for those of us that are working on losing weight...I've used it mainly for support over the years...tried a couple of the diets...and used their fitness program when I first started...also have done some of the challenges..this past summer I've been using it less & less, mainly because I'm getting a life of my own and don't need the support as much..I still have some favorite friends from there that I like to keep tabs on but I get tired/bored of all the stuff that isn't weight loss related...a while back one of the gals asked me why I wasn't a moderator for the one site I'm on and I told her that I didn't want to be tied down/ commit to it at this time...Well, two weeks ago I received an email from eDiets saying I have been nominated to be a Moderator for the Men/Women/Exchange (MWX)....and at the same time I got another email from them saying that they wanted to feature me in thier Sucess Stories...I know this should be an honor but to me it isn't...it's just another way for them to sell thier program..true I think it's a good program..but I just don't want to do it... then they give me this tune about "paying it forward" that I could help motivate many people who are struggling..But to tell the truth...I feel that I HAVE Paid my dues...I've done my share of motivating the groups that I chose to post with and I have always felt that my story isn't that much differant or better than the majority of those out there...besides I'm not done...I still have a ways to go so how can I say I'm a sucess....I'll be a sucess WHEN I reach my goal and maintain it...but right now I am not even close to that...sure i've lost bunches of weight and i've changed my life around but I'm NOT DONE...
Sooo anyway...I've been feeling guilty about turning down both of the offers....The MWX has been good to me...I went up to NJ last fall and hiked with a couple of the guys on it...had a really good time..and it does need a woman moderator but I just don't want to be the one...we've had some problems keeping moderators in the past for a number of reasons...we're a very outspoken group...and it's not like I'm chicken to do it...I just don't want to...so Why do I feel like I need a reason to turn it down?...which I have already done...It just keeps popping up in my mind that I have a responsibilty to the group...It's made it where I don't even want to go on site anymore because I feel like I've let them down...not that anyone but Frank (the male moderator who nominated me) knows...and MWX will go on without me...
I guess I've Made my decision and I just need to get over it...get it out of my mind and not worry about it...but it keeps preying on me....damn...does this mean i really want to do it or do I just like feeling guilty?