Looking back

I was driving home from the gym last night thinking about how I really need to get friends of my own...people (girlfreinds) my own age...not family...that I can do things with besides at the gym...like go to movies, hiking, shopping or just visit...I realized last night that I just don't know how to go about making and KEEPING friends...I do have my friends in SC and I love them but mostly I'm by myself...
I've never really been good at keeping in touch with friends..I had a "gang" that I ran around with when I was in Jr high/High school but when I moved from Wyoming I lost contact with ALL of them (my Mom who is in her 70's still keeps in touch with a girlfriend that she went to grade school with..how coool is that?)...then I married The Kids father at 18 and he became my whole life..any friends I had were his and when we got divoriced I left them behind too (I didn't want to be reminded of our lives together)...over the next 7 years I would say my best friend was my lil sister, #1 & #2 Nieces mom...we lived together for awhile..used to get really messed up together..but then Jason (my son) died and that changed things again...She moved back to Wyoming and I went crazy until I moved in with Larry...He was my best friend.He made friends really easy and had a lot of friends and I just kind of tagged along...they were good people and I really liked them except that I don't think that they would have been my friends except that I was with Larry...I have made friends over the years at differant jobs I've held but I never wanted to mix work with home and when I left a job, I left those friends...I'm just never have been one to keep up with friends..never thought that I was important enough for anyone to want to keep up with me...
Now here I am 56 years old and by myself...most of the people I know are married or are couples. Not that I want to be married or a couple...I just want that feeling you can call someone anytime and say "let's get together" or just gab on the phone about anything...and not feel like I'm "bothering" anyone or taking up thier free time...I can't blame my situation on anyone else but myself..I just need to figure out how to go from where i am to where I want to be...
One of my biggest problems is my self esteem...I don't think I am good enough or interesting enough that someone would really want to spend their free time with...
I really need to get over that!!!!